You're All I Ever Wanted
by Sassy Kames
Summary: Love... I love him... but he doesn't love me. He'll never love me. Not in that way. A sad/sweet Jarlos one shot. This is my first Jarlos anything, so be kind. :P


**A/N **Jarlos is slowly taking over my mind so I wrote this. I've never written about this pair before in the romantic way so please bear with me. Um, hope you enjoy? :]

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**All I Ever Wanted**

Carlos Garcia walked into apartment 2J with a sad frown on his face helmet dangling down by his side in a lifeless hand. His mood wasn't it like this less than five minutes ago when he went searching for his life long crush, James Diamond, to see if he wanted to hang out. No, it happened _after _he witness James practically eating a Jennifer's mouth in the lobby.

As soon as he saw the taller boy with Blonde Jennifer, Carlos fled the room and rushed up the stairs with a shattered heart. Closing the apartment door soundlessly, the Latino trudged to his shared room with James, silent tears slowly slidding down his face. He didn't care that he was crying. Nobody was around to see so it didn't matter.

Entering his room, Carlos immediately stripped off his clothes until he was only in his super hero boxers and climbed into his welcoming bed. He let out a cracked sigh as his head hit his soft pillow covered in small drawing of helmets and closed his eyes that were still leaking crystal tears.

The image of James holding Jennifer close to his body entered his mind and he groaned. Of all people, James had to kiss a Jennifer. There's nothing wrong with the trio. Actually, that's the problem. _Nothing _is ever wrong with the three girls because they're all so flawless and beautiful and can really get whatever guy they want with a snap of their fingers. They're confident and aren't afraid to speak their mind (though almost 99 percent of what they say is pretty rude) and, once again, they're are _beautiful_.

Carlos can't compare to that. He's none of those things. Especially confident. He's been crushing on James since they were 13 when James saved him from those bullies who'd always mess with him back in grade school. The way James came lashing out on those guys was incredible. Sure, Kendall was by his side, but it was the pretty boy who threw Mason, the school's nastiest, most horrible bully ever, off Carlos when the older boy was choking him.

Carlos remembers watching with large, tearful eyes at the taller boys defending him. Mason and his goons had ran off with their tail between their legs, especially after James had threatened to cut their dicks off, stick em in a blender and make a Taste-Your-Own-Medicine drink. Yeah, those bullies never messed with Carlos again. And not because he started hanging out with James and Kendall, but because James was dead serious. His eyes, his body language, his everything was fierce and fiery and fucking yelled 'Don't test me, bitch'.

No one ever did. From that day on, Carlos had this thing for James. He admired the boy, wanted the older male to only pay attention to him, wanted to impress him, wanted to be like him, wanted James to like him back in the way he liked him...

"Love..." Carlos murmured into his pillow. "I love him." _But he doesn't love me. Not in that way._

_**Maybe because you haven't told him yet, genius.**_

_How can I? He'll hate me! _

_**You don't know that. You don't know that all. **_

_Oh, but I do. He won't ever want to talk to me again!_

_**James won't do that to you. He loves you.**_

_Yeah, like a little brother. That's all I'll ever be to him. We saw the way he was with Blonde Jennifer. That will never be me. Ever. Even though that's all I ever wanted._

_**If you want it, go get it. Make it happen.**_

_I can't. I won't. I'd lose everything we have!_

_**YOU DON'T KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY!**_

_I DON'T WANT TO TRY! I WON'T._

_**Because you're a coward. Always hiding behind people, always hiding behind **__**James.**__** Well, guess what? James ain't helping you in this one. This is all on you, so you better do something about it.**_

_But-_

_**You love him.**_

_Yes, but-_

_**You want him.**_

_So bad, but-_

_**So what the hell are you waiting for.**_

Carlos sat up in his bed, tears streaming down his face rapidly and heart pounding loud in his chest. He pulled his short legs into his chest and wrapped his arms around his bent knees sniffing. "Nothing..." he whimpered. "I-I just d-d-don't want a broken heart."

The voice in his head didn't reply. "I l-love him too much to lose him as my best friend!" the Latino buried his face into his knees and sobbed. "B-b-besides, who c-can love m-me? I'm nothing special. Nothing anything James is looking for at all. I'll always be his little brother."

The Latino shuddered before holding on more tightly to his legs and cried softly into them. He didn't know how long he stayed in that position crying his eyes and heart out but it was awhile. Maybe after an hour or so, Carlos, face puffy and wet, slowly untangled his body and slid off the bed. The first thing he needed was an ibruprofen because his head was pounding. Then maybe some cheering up food. Ice cream. Any kind sounded wonderful at the moment.

Wiping his face off as good as he could, Carlos opened the bedroom door only to become face to face with the person who made him cry like a baby just minutes before.

The smile on James' face disappeared as soon as he saw his best friend. "Carlos?"

_Oh god._

_**Tell him.**_

_No!_

_**Quit running and just come clean to him. It's not that hard!**_

_It's actually very hard!_

_**Only because you're making it! JUST TELL HIM!**_

"NO!" Carlos screamed, making James, who was just about to rest his hand on his unresponsive friend' shoulder, jump.

"Okay, I'm sorry! Just tell me what's wrong, Carlos! Please!" James shouted back, not knowing that his friend's yell wasn't meant for him.

Carlos stared up at the taller boy, his small body trembling. Shaking his head, the Latino sobbed out, "I c-c-can't!" he tried to move past James but the pretty boy grabbed him by the arm and swung him back around to face him.

"What happened?!" he demanded harshly, staring hard into Carlos' eyes. "Who made you cry?

_**You.**_

_Shut up!_

_**It's true though, right?**_

_It's not his fault!_

_**You're right, it's yours.**_

Carlos hiccuped shaking his head and tried to pull away from James but the taller boy was stronger and held onto him tightly. "Carlos. Tell me." that wasn't a plea, it was a command.

"I can't James, please!" the Latino cried and started tugging his arm away from James' grasp. The brunette yanked the shorter boy into his body and hugged him tight. Carlos gasped when he found himself in his friend's strong, warm arms. "James..."

"Please, Carlos. Tell me. I hate seeing you like this, it kills me." James hugged the younger male tighter into his chest and rested his right cheek on the top of the Latino's head. "_Please._" he whispered and squeezed Carlos even more tighter.

Carlos slowly fisted his hands into the front of James' shirt.

_**Just do it.**_

He ignored the voice and took a shaky breath. "J-Jamie, d-don't hate me, o-o-okay?"

James didn't speak; he tilted Carlos' chin up and stared down at him with a serious expression. "I can never ever hate you, Carlos Garcia. And if you ever think that, ever question it, I won't hesitate to knock some sense into you. You know how hard my knocking can get, too." James threatened and Carlos nodded, wide eyed. "So tell me."

Swallowing, the shorter boy looked away from James' intense stare on him and swallowed again. "Um..." Carlos felt his eyes water up again before they spilled over with tears. James said he wouldn't- couldn't hate him so why was he still nervous as hell? Nervous doesn't even begin to explain what he was feeling.

The Latino whimpered before looking back up at James. "I- J-James, I-," Carlos bit his lip and shook his head.

"Carlos..."

_You'll hate me._

_**Just get it over with.**_

_I'll kill myself after this so he won't have to deal with me anymore._

_**Don't be like that and tell him.**_

_I am. I will and then I'm doing it._

_**Don't go down the Idiot Road, please.**_

_He'll never return my feelings for him. He's better off with Jennifer._

_**Okay, what I say doesn't matter so you go ahead and think whatever the fuck you want to think about but just fucking tell James.**_

_Okay._

"Okay." Carlos whispered, eyes closed.

"Okay?" James repeated softly.

"Okay!" the Latino started in a high pitched voice, "Here's the th-thing, James. I love you! I love you so much! You're all I ever wanted but I can't have you because you don't love me back that way but that's okay, okay?! I-I just needed t-to tell you a-and h-hope you don't hate me a-a-and I hope you and B-Blonde Jennifer are happy with each other and I'm s-so sorry!" Carlos sobbed the last part of his rant before breaking free from a shocked James and bolted out the door.

James wasn't shocked for long. He may not be the brightest crayon in the box but when someone he's secretly been in love with for 4 years screams 'I love you!' at him, he acts fast. Whether it was running after them, or pulling them in close or even smashing their mouths together, he'd do it.

He'd even do all three. Which he did. He ran after the fast Latino who was almost out the front door and grabbed him by the waist and whirled him around before kissing the boy's trembling lips eagerly and lovingly. His strong arms wrapped tightly around Carlos' tiny waist and he pulled him closer and closer to him until his bigger body practically engulfed the Latino's way smaller one. His lips hungrily moved over Carlos' already swollen ones.

Carlos was squeaking and gasping and mewling all at the same time as the pretty boy's mouth dominated his. He was confused. James was kissing him life his life depended on it. Why? Shouldn't James hate his guts right now?

_**He said he'd never hate you. Us.**_

_B-b-but-_

_**Just enjoy his lips, Carlos.**_

Carlos sighed in content before beginning to shyly kiss James back. The brunette boy swiped his tongue against Carlos' sealed lips, begging for entrance. Carlos opened his mouth and James slid his tongue inside with a groan of approval, Carlos' sweet mouth dancing over his taste buds.

"God, I've wanted this so bad," James breathed hotly into the shorter boy's mouth.

Carlos gasped, not believing his ears. James let his waist go and moved his hands up to grip the Latino's soft cheeks.

Carlos clutched onto the arms the hands were connected to holding his face and pulled away. "Wh-what?"

James surged forward, not done kissing the shorter boy. Carlos moaned as James gently pried his lips apart and dove back inside his wet mouth. He about melted on the spot when James wrapped their tongues together and sucked slowly and pleasurably.

"J-James-"

"I love you, Carlos." James whispered, finally pulling away from the boy's addicting lips. He pressed their foreheads together, his hazel eyes closed. "I've loved you for such a long time but was too chicken shit to tell you."

Carlos started crying all over again and James tenderly kissed the salty tears away. "R-really? Y-you aren't l-lying to me, are you?"

_"I'd never lie to you, baby." _James whispered, voice sincere and full of emotion. Carlos hiccuped with a blush on his face before shyly, yet excitedly, pressed his mouth against James'. He felt the taller male smile against his lips which made his heart speed up.

"I-I love you, James." he murmured against James' moving lips before letting out a squeal of surprise when he found himself lifted off the ground and being held by James. He wrapped his legs around the brunette's waist, biting his lip cutely as he did so.

"I love you too, Carlos." James answered with his amazing, beautiful smile the Latino fell in love with over and over again. James pecked Carlos' lips sweetly before asking softly, "Can I show you how much I love you?"

Carlos' heart sped up even more than it was before, knowing well what James meant. Before giving an answer, he asked quietly, "What about Jennifer?"

"We aren't dating, Carlos." came James' quick reply.

The Latino smiled shyly. "That's what I like to hear."

James grinned. "Is it?"

Carlos leaned down and kissed the other male deeply and passionately, his eyes closed and small hands gently cupping James' cheeks. "You making love to me is all I ever wanted." he murmured, answering James' previous question while pulling back with a blush on his face.

"That so?" James whispered sweetly before walking back to their room, Carlos in his arms.

"Yes."

"That's all I ever wanted to do." the brunette confessed while entering their room. He gently set Carlod down and closed the door before locking it. He then turned to stare at the beautiful Latino in front of him with a smile.

Carlos blushed before taking James' hand and tugging him over to his bed.

And when they were both naked, beautiful bodies shown to one another as James hovered over Carlos, the tip of his member gently pressing against the Latino's hole, said Latino pulled James down into a sweet kiss, knowing that he was nervous about hurting him.

"It's okay, James. It's all I ever wanted."

And when James slid inside smoothly, making Carlos cry out with pain and pleasure, when James began to slowly move inside the other male lovingly, Carlos hugged him close with tears streaming down his face and whispered, "You're all I ever wanted, James."

James kissed Carlos sweetly and whispered, "And you're all I ever want, Carlos."

**~End~**


End file.
